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On only one other occasion in my life did I even approach that level of inebriation. Well, you were wrong. Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce. Oh, you played football? Oh yeah, he's fine; you need a bazooka to kill these guys. He bet someone that he could put a pool ball in his mouth and then take it out. Charles is fine, but Klinger has damage to over fifty percent of his body; he broke his nose.

Grandma Mavis has a saying for everything. No wonder Grandpa Wilmer stomped on his hearing aid. Doc? That's all right, you'll grow out of it. How do you spell that?

The wind is from the south. Sidney, what kept you? 'Course, cover charge. I had dreams like this all through puberty! You haven't got the legs for it. He'll be walking back here in about an hour.

How can I eat that and look my mouth in the face? Where'd you get that? Radar, what's going on? Do you know how to make a cow say "ah"? Attention all personnel. Due to a lack of casualties, tonight's midnight movie will be shown at 9:00 AM. And midnight has been cancelled.

*HONK!*HONK!* Hey, hey, hey. Listen to this. Blue movie banned in Boston. Is he going to be all right? May I at least finish my Wheaties? Margaret, what is wrong? Don't tell me. I don't want to know about it. You guys have my full permission, and I never said that. I mean, I'm not even here, so how could I? Radar! Pierce, before the Major tells me to tell you to shut up, shut up.