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Colic? Gee, I never knew how hard it was to pick a nose. Well of course. Did you get married then, too? Yes, sir.

Doc? Of course not, only if they're sick. Margaret, we are both adults. Sir, I only want a small, quick little wedding in Toledo then a teeny-tiny, one-two-three honeymoon! What about individuality? I'm just as much a major as any other major. You'll notice these leaves come in gold, not pink for girls and blue for boys.

Last call for my mouthwatering turkey. Holy Toledo! Either that bird hit a landmine, or you just shot down a kamikaze pigeon! That's one way out this man's army. We are, but don't you think we deserve a little decent entertainment?! God knows everything else around here stinks!

D-O-I-N-G! What are you doing? You don't think this is the proverbial 'hell freezing over' do you, Father? No, but someone wanted to use my underwear for a flag. That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. I don't wanna be entertained by somebody with three names unless it's Gypsy Rose Lee.

No. Radar, what's going on? I always thought of it as That Man's army. Do I know, Do I know anything? Everything in this country disappears but me. Boy, I'd like to wake up one morning, look down, and find myself gone.