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Yes, of the opposite sex! Captain Pierce! Major Burns, acting Commander, and I, his adjutant, have been informed that you and Captain McIntyre refused to release Colonel Flagg's prisoner. Why did you say HQ? Whoever told you about HQ? Look, you can't lay all that on my shoulders. Don't you know how much this place stinks? Don't you know what it's like to stand day after day in blood? In the blood of children? I hate this place. And if I can't stand up to it to your satisfaction, then.. You know sir, you just might go down in medical history. Attention all Allied personnel: There are only about half a dozen stars visible, sky-wise: I am directly under the brightest one.

Should we say grace? Huh? You know, we gotta do it someday... throw away all the guns and invite all the jokers from the north and the south to a cocktail party. Last man standing on his feet at the end wins the war. I'll remember that if we're ever attacked by a bridge club. I'm only paranoid because everyone's against me!

Well, I don't know any other way out of it. I don't care if she did put an ice cube in your underwear! Girls will do that. You mustn't hit her with the dog! Now until I get back, you're the man of the house. Yes, I know Mommy thinks she is, but you really are! Just like I do my wife. Confucius say: "A bird on the collar beats your fifty dollar." Uh, that, uh, scotch you just poured is rye. Really? Then what did it have to do with? Was it the doctors' tomfoolery? Was it the blood? Let me tell you something, Alvin. I've seen tougher birds than you who couldn't take it!

What; what'd I miss? She's right, and--nah, doesn't mean a thing. "We are counting the days. All my love..." Major Burns. Can I get you something, sir? Klinger, you should know better. The Mess Tent is no place to bring a sick person! Either of you seen Radar?

The next time I see you, I wanna see a shine on those high heels! You two baboons spoiled a swell movie! No, like stand him up and have him shot. Ow! What was that?